when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
