We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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