maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
