its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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