do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Randomize
