I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
