Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize