We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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