Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
