sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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