We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
