what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
