i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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