Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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