I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
