After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
