I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
As shirtless as possible
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
