She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize