ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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