Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
