At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize