If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just want nice things and good sex
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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