i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
