Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
