Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
