So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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