But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
