Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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