I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
