Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize