I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize