Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I think my moral compass just broke
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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