getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
