...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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