And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
