did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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