If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
