just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
tell me about the eggs
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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