i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
