how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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