wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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