I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
