I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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