it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
