he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
