Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Come share oat with me in your robe
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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