it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
