Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
