Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize