no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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