My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
