he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
