Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Damn victory sex feels great
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
