Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
operation have a gay friend backfired
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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