Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
