You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
