I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
