what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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