i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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