Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
