I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
