I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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