no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
