so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
