it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
