My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
