Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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