not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
