I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
