It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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