So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
