maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
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