booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
