just tell him i said nine months
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I have tasted many bathrooms
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
