Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize