Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
