It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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