I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
