So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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