I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
