Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
