Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
