is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
