he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize