I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
