sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
