I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
