so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i think i scared a bird with my dick
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
