they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
